Reviews & Recommendations

Indispensable Contribution to the Field - Secret Shame

Dr. Douglas Carpenter’s book Secret Shame: A Survivor’s Guide to Understanding Male Sexual Abuse and Male Sexual Development is an indispensable contribution to the field of trauma recovery and male sexual abuse. As the CEO and founder of The Survivors Circle and author of Echoes, I recognize this work as pivotal in advancing our mission to humanize the lived experiences of male survivors. Dr. Carpenter skillfully combines deep research with compassionate insight, giving voice to the silent struggles that many men face.

His book not only sheds light on the complexities of male sexual development in the context of abuse but also provides a framework for understanding the..........continued

- Dr. Robert H. Marshall Jr.

   Author of Echoes: The Stories of Men Overcoming Sexual Trauma

Instrumental in My Recovery - Secret Shame

As a CSA Survivor, Doug’s book was instrumental in allowing me to understand my relationship with my abuser, but more importantly my mental and emotional state as a result of the abuse and what I did as a consequence. It Helped me to move forward with my recovery, and helped me to evolve, grow, and find peace. 

- Nathan Spiteri

   Actor & Author of Toy Cars

Excellent Book! - Childhood Trauma & the Non-Alpha Male

This book was fantastic in helping me to understand how my childhood and struggle as a non-alpha male are contributing to my present day issues! I can much better see myself as a unique person who has a very individual personality and character. I can allow myself to simply be me and not worry about conforming myself to what society demands me to be!

- Shane Eberhardt

Powerful - Secret Shame

The personal experience back-stories combined withe solid research is a powerful combination. This book gave me a grid to process my own experience of childhood sexual abuse. The personal stories of other men in this book are touchstones that gave me hope that I wasn't weird or different because I had those experiences. The author references solid research and at the same time, it is written in ......continued

- Roscoe Pisor

All Men Are Men - Childhood Trauma & the Non-Alpha Male

All men are men. Some men are shamed by both men and women for “not being a man,” either for not comporting themselves as a man who exhibits typical/desirable masculine traits, or who “puts the pussy on the pedestal,” or who carries beliefs and values which are at odds with others, or who either cannot or will not meet a woman’s expectations, etc. They are the .......continued

- Michael Ronin

    Author of Modern Masculinity for the Conscious Man 

Excellent Resource - Secret Shame

Excellent resource that every mental health clinician should have on their shelf. This is a well written and sourced book. It covers the topics that WILL come up if you spend time working with men with a history of child sexual abuse(CSA). This is the best comprehensive book that I have ever read on the topic of CSA (have read at least 12). I have worked with CSA survivors both in my professional practice as well as in trauma survivor workshops for over 25 years. If you see men in clinical practice and don't have the topic of CSA surface, then please start inquiring about it directly. This book is written in a format to quickly find and review a specific topic in the middle of a busy day of clinical practice.

- Mark Barber DO - Board Certified in Family Medicine

Grounded in Research - Childhood Trauma & the Non-Alpha Male

Grounded in research while using a heartbreaking case study to amplify and support his points, Carpenter makes the argument that men who struggle to fit into the dominant masculine identity have a unique experience of trauma that follows them long into their lives and yet, healing is possible.

- Dan Griffin

Phenomenal Read - Secret Shame

Highly recommend for both therapists and survivors.

Randall A. Cripe, MA, LPC

A Must Read for Wives & Mothers of Boys - Childhood Trauma & the Non-Alpha Male

Written with such clarify and love. Doug explains each case and scenario with such compassion.  The psychology and research is presented in an easy to understand fashion.  If you are a mother raising a young boy, I urge you to read this.  Parenting is addressed along with examples and case studies.  Knowing how our men are the way they are can only help women better relate.  Thank you Doug Carpenter

- Heather Morin

Life Changing - Secret Shame

The information in this book released me from years of pain and shame. Doug Carpenter brings to light the effects of Child Sexual Abuse, some of which is not well known or understood. We used this book as framework for a men’s retreat for survivors of sexual abuse, and most of the large number of men at the retreat had never heard of imprinted arousal pattern, or “arousal is not the same as desire.” For me, this was life changing, and has brought freedom in multiple areas of my life. I finally got answers that made sense to me after 40 years of questions that were not answered in therapy or personal research. Highly recommended!



Insightful & Impactful - Childhood Trauma & the Non-Alpha Male

If you are a man struggling with past trauma, gender confusion, or toxic shame, this book is a must-read.  As a clinician who understands the value of going to the root of subconscious childhood pain points, I found the content of Dr. Carpenter’s book right on the mark. He outlines the importance of proper nurturing in the early development years of a young boy while also pointing out the tragic impacts when this does not occur.  With interesting case studies you are sure to see fragments of your childhood on these pages.  And Dr. Carpenter all provides 25 steps parents can take to ensure their children grow up well adjusted. I can’t recommend this book enough to those struggling as well as for those who work to bring healing.

- Eddie Capparucci, LPC, CSAS, CPCS

   Author of Going Deeper: How the Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction

Complete, Relevant, and Nurturing - Secret Shame

As a victim of MSA, I can attest to the incredible depth and breadth of this groundbreaking work. Dr. Carpenter takes the reader by the hand and leads them step by step through every aspect of MSA, providing accurate and complete research, understanding, and ultimately encouragement and steps towards healing. This is a heretofore closed, taboo subject that no one would ever admit existed. Dr. Carpenter methodically examines every aspect of MSA and lays it out clearly before us until it is understood by all. This is required reading for all practitioners, but most of all, for those of us who have suffered with MSA our whole lives and lived in Secret Shame.

Outstanding! - Childhood Trauma & the Non-Alpha Male

Dr. Carpenter has done it again! This book is both timely and authoritative on the topic of male gender identity formation. He is a true professor in every sense of the word and his current work allows the reader to digest the topic of complex trauma as it relates to the formation of male gender identity on an academic, professional, and deeper personal level. Dr. Carpenter’s critical review of research, examples from over 20 years of clinical experience, and his pushing of the reader to personally reflect pulls the topic together in a masterful way!

- Bowman Smelko, Psy.D ABPP, Licensed Psychologist

Poignant and Thoughtful - Secret Shame

Survivor’s stories mixed with relevant commentary on the topic of shame and abuse is a powerful combination. Dr. Carpenter expertly leads the reader through personal narratives and brilliant insights alongside the academic research and seeming hidden knowledge of the subject. It’s a masterwork told in a way no other author or academic has been able to produce to date. This is a must read for anyone seeking to learn more about shame and sexual abuse.



Valuable Read - Secret Shame

It’s an amazing read! Very informative with valuable information. This is a must read for anyone healing from CSA.

Informative & Impactful - Secret Shame

This book was so helpful in understanding men that have experienced sexual abuse and the wounds they carry. Reading it was emotional and insightful. A must read for victims, their families, and medical and counseling professionals.

Invaluable Resource - Secret Shame

As a life coach specializing in helping men overcome the trauma of childhood sexual abuse, I have found "Secret Shame" to be an invaluable resource. Authored by Dr. Douglas Carpenter, this book and accompanying workbook offer a comprehensive and sensitive approach to addressing the complex issues faced by male survivors. "Secret Shame" delves into the often overlooked topic of male sexual abuse, providing a deep exploration of the impact on male sexual development. Dr. Carpenter's writing, as both a ...........continued

- Michael A. Chapman

    Founder & Certified Recovery Life Coach @ Polar Life Consulting